Monday, March 28, 2016

Showering love for our children

Earlier I wrote an article about implementing parental control in response to an out of control teenager who acted without much thoughts about his actions on others. This article - Why few child prodigies grow up to be geniuses? is the exact opposite to the ideology of implementing rules and controls for a child. 

Raising a creative child is indeed as Grant described "may be hard to nurture, but it's easy to thwarted". To each and every individual has his own talents. When we parent, we could only support to let each child's talent shine as he or she willsBeing a Christian Mother, I cannot be more thankful than to enjoy the abundant company of four healthy children. The emphasis of love in parenting is the most important ingredient to avoid thwarting creativity in a child and bringing up an out of control kid. 

It is that same love that we gave a child as a parent that we excel as a parent. We cannot give more to our children other than love. 

The immense role of parenting requires such delicate balance between implementing rules (control) and supporting a child with ample amount of love which only a full time dedicated mother could understand. 
parenting, singapore parenting, sg parent, sg parenting

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

The Importance of Parental Control

Around the beginning of last year, Singapore's first Prime Minister, Mr Lee Kuan Yew passed away. The whole nation was mourning, myself included.

A week later, a 16 year old youth was charged for uploading a video on YouTube. It made headlines on the news and unfortunately, the boy who had achieved his fame in less than what one would like, did not look like he had learnt during his first court appearance. 

I am a mother of four. When I had my first child, I had no clue to what parenting was. Even the simple task of breastfeeding was hard. I would think that it is only feeding a baby milk and food. Never had I known that it is a way to learn parenting.

Parenting to me was not natural and easy like breadtfeeding. As I spoke to many friends who were also mothers, some told me they would put the feeding on timing while others simply feed on demand. 

Ask any mother you know, breadtfeeding a baby is not a natural thing for most women. You need to learn by instinct how, when and even why a baby needs it. Apart from being hungry or pain (such as illness or colic) which would be the most obvious as the baby would not stop no matter what, I learnt that he/she may be crying out just for attention, comfort, feeling tired or even bored or lonely. 

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Over the years, I found out that despite the fact that our children would test us repeatedly for an outcome which they want, we cannot give in. It is hard to establish parental control but we need to do it. Parental control requires attentive monitoring with lots of patience and love just like breastfeeding. There is no right or wrong for the caregiver when reading a child's behaviour but when it clearly requires intervention, we as parents need to step in.

Generally, children begin with zero knowledge of what is right or wrong till taught or instilled by the parents. They could also be learnt by their experiences with peers and other beings. In modern context, the effect of media is so far reaching that as parents, we need to watch out for information being fed to our children by monitoring what they receive through YouTube or other means. 

Our children would even grow to share ideas through the media and may not be fully equipped with the power of developing empathy and  compassion for the spectators looking on his production. 

Hurt to other parties has to be carefully considered when measuring the behaviour of the child and his or her impact on others. We do not live alone. Careful thoughts to fellowmen or to those around us would help our children become better beings in hope of a better world. In today's fast-paced society led by the invent of high-tech mobile devices, parental control is ever more so important.  

For other parenting posts, read:

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

The Power of Prayer and Words of Encouragement from the Bible

This post is dedicated to all who need a word of encouragement, free and abundantly found in the word of God or the Bible.


Matthew 18:3 
And he said: “Amen I say to you, unless you change and become like little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven...."

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

How to Organize a 4 year old Plants vs Zombies birthday

It was a 4 year old birthday party. Thinking of a theme along the child's interest was not hard. However, bringing the Plants vs Zombies theme alive was challenging.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

25 Composition Phrases For Expressing Feelings

April is the month in which the pupils here start their First Semestral Assessment. In creative writing, my eldest son needs a lot of help even though he had come a long way from Primary 1 (Grade1 equivalent). He received no tuition except for my sporadic coaching.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Remembering Mr Lee Kuan Yew

Mr Lee Kuan Yew was a remarkable leader. He was the first Prime Minister of Singapore. According to New York Times, "his leadership was criticized for suppressing freedom, but the formula succeeded. Singapore became an admired international business and financial center." 

Friday, March 13, 2015

Review of The Landmark Forum: Getting freedom throughout life

Five weekends ago, I attended the weirdest but most extraordinary course that I have ever experienced in my life. I salute to its creators and thought it is a forum worth exploring to those who have never tried it. The impact on me was so great that I had to share it on my blog. Throughout the 3 days, a forum leader guided us through its key ideas through only conversation. 

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Chinese New Year Craft: How To Make A Mini Pussy Willow Display Decoration

This year, I had a wonderful opportunity to share something about Chinese New Year with the children at the school again. 

As I was shopping for a vase for my own pussy willow in the house, I was inspired to let the children make a mini one to take home with them.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

10 Ways I Survive My Separation Anxiety

It is the beginning of the year. Children all over Singapore started their new year in various local schools. This year marked the milestone of my 2 yr old going to school. I was amazingly surprised at how ready he was to go to school when I asked him several times.

As he was the youngest, I was not in a hurry to put him away in school. 

The experience in the first week brought back memories of how his older siblings went through separation anxiety.

My youngest did not even look back when he said "Bye" to me. But according to his teacher, in only an hour, he was looking for me and tearing as if his mum would never come back.

I could totally identify with his anxiety as there was no familiar caregiver to lean on. The environment was also new. Even though the teacher brought him to his older sibling in pre-kindergarten, this did not comfort him. 

Surviving my children's separation anxiety means :

1. Tackle the separation anxiety within myself

I was very anxious when my first child went to play school. I did not understand how a young child feel. Eventually, I discovered that if I want to help the child to settle in a new environment, I had to be strong myself emotionally.

2. Understand the child's temperament to decide whether to take it slow or to leave the child to cry 

My eldest started preschool at 16 months. He was crying so much that no amount of reassurance could stop him. He finally settled at 24 months. On the contrary, the rest who started later adjusted in two weeks or less.

3. Give a familiar object to bring to school

This helps so much to ease separation anxiety for my children. 

4. Separate at appropriate age

I noticed that my subsequent children did better than my eldest. I believed it was the age in which they started school as mentioned  before. It was easier to talk to them as their linguistic ability and understanding improves.  

5. My need vs the child's needs

I needed time off when I was pregnant with another child. This meant leaving the child with another caregiver helps. It was hard but I realised children are so resilient and adaptable like us and understood mums' needs as much as we understood theirs.

6. Give plenty of reassurance

This cannot be overemphasised. I gave heaps especially after school.

7. Use older siblings to guide and encourage

My youngest did not want to join in the art activity in school at first. He was only staying up to 2 hours. When asked, he wanted to paint at home, not in school. I then showed him his brother's paintings which convinced him of the possibility of doing art in school. 

8. Get a friend whom the child plays with to go to school together

This worked out so well for my eldest who had no siblings then. 

9. Expect different personalities and adapt to the method in which the toddler was brought up as an infant

All of my children are different, with two being more able to cope with frustration than the others. 

I therefore learnt to be more patient with the "less resilient" ones. 

I also had different methods of bringing up the children when they were infants, two being breastfed and on demand (means more secure) while the other left crying. In addition, 1 out of the 4 was bottlefed and I felt less strong bonds compared to the rest. I thus discovered that when they were going through crisises in life such as this, I had to help in accordance to the ways they were used to when they were infants. 

10. Anticipate illnesses

As young children gather in the school to play, they get sick more easily. The illnesses affected me quite a bit as they interrupted the normal school going routine.  However, I realised I could comfort the child better if I took him home. 

All in all, I am still trying to help my 2 year old cope his separation anxiety. But I know it would be over all too soon and he would be on his journey to independence with plenty of love and support from home. 

May you have a wonderful year with your children..

Monday, December 15, 2014

Would you play jigsaws? Review on puzzles from Learnwell

Would you play jigsaw? Our children always do. 

This is a review on 2 popular jigsaws which we received from Learnwell recently. 

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